WEST-EAST STORY
A Musical Interlude

by Frank Mayer


Frank has kindly revived yet another longstanding Pouch tradition: that of filking songs—substituting the original lyrics with words better suited to describe our favorite game!

In previous editions, we've rewritten some of the most famous songs of Frank Sinatra and Swedish superband ABBA. Even Christmas was not immune! This time, Frank has a go at a well-known musical…

GET Song

to the tune of The JET song

When you're a GET,
You're a GET all the way
From Spring in oh one
To last season of play!

When you're a GET
The word gets around
Your demands: they get met,
Youíve got allies in town.

If you signon with R
there's no use in you resisting.
You ain't getting so far.
So when you desisting?

You'll lay FARks cold on ice,
You donít need to ask permission.
Your supports: theyíll count twice
You'll be their perdition!

Three cheers for the GETs!
FARks: no use in you dodging
Weíll scuttle your ships,
your armies weíre dislodging.

So here come the GETs
Get your testaments written
Now taking bets
The FARks will get smitten!


Albion

to the tune of America

England:
An island I did draw.
Waves caress my silent shore
Setting off for Nor
Gets me to four
Soon to be more…

France:
Great Brit-ain…
Great Bigpain!
Always your armies convoying
Always my schemes annoying
your ships deploying
your email cloying
the Channel me withholding
you need a good scolding!

England:
I like to be in Al-bi-i-on
OK for me in Al-bi-i-on
Feel very safe in Al-bi-i-on
Even for a naïf in Al-bi-i-on.

France:
Get me to BELf.

England:
Get there yourself.

France:
No need to get frantic.

England:
Iíll take Mid Atlantic.

England:
Waters are wide in Al-bi-i-on
Time on my side in Al-bi-i-on
Got to go west in Al-bi-i-on.
Army in Brest from Al-bi-i-on!


I Feel Greedy

to the tune of I Feel Pretty

I feel greedy.
Oh so greedy,
I feel greedy. So feed me this turn!
Who's to say that a stab is seedy?
My ally has so much to learn.

Theyíre uncovered,
So unlovered,
So surprisingly, disarmingly free.
And thereís nobody there to keep them from me.

I like centres
Lots of centres
Iím no repenter. Dissenters I despise.
When Iíve lovely, lovely spots Ďfore my eyes.


Austria

to the tune of Maria

The most beautiful sound I ever heard:
Austria, Austria, Austria, Austria…
All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word.
Austria, Austria, Austria, Austria…
Austria!
I've just met a land named Austria,
And suddenly that game
Will never be the same
To me.
Austria!
I've occupied a land named Austria,
And suddenly I've found
How wonderful a sound
Can be!
Austria!
Say it loud and there's music playing,
Say it soft and it's almost like praying.

Austria,
I'll never stop saying Austria!

The most beautiful sound I ever heard.
Austria.


Gee, Game Master

to the tune of Gee, Officer Krupke

Dear kindly, Game Master
Please, ya gotta understands
You call it a disaster
But it wasnít in my hands.
My machine was offline,
and my password I forgot.
So I missed another deadline.
Nine times really ainít a lot.

Whatís that, ya Honor?
I gotta disagree.
I play two powers if I wanna
That rule just ainít for me.
So donít be calling it cheating.
Name calling ainít right!
My powerís taking a beating
Thatís just how I fight.

Gee, Game Master.
Donít make me to blame
Iíll go play canasta
Iíve lost interest your game.
Ded Countís no worry
Vermont Groupís no matter to me.
So donít you be surly
My Dedís minus nine hundred three.


Some Variant

to the tune of Somewhere

Italy:
Thereís a variant for us,
There must be a variant for us,
Convoys and supports from the air
wait for us
Somewhere.

Venus:
Thereís a time for us,
Someday a time for us
Even if '01's not the year
Time to ally and builds to share
Someday!

Italy:
Somewhere
Weíll find new centres for grabbing

Venus:
Weíll find new reasons for stabbing
Somewhere.

Italy and Venus:
Thereís a variant for us,
A time and a variant for us.
Signon and weíll be halfway there.
Signon and be my care bear.
Somehow,
Someday,
Somewhere!



Frank Mayer
(affaldssakt@hotmail.com)

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